I had an epic dream last night. I was standing in front of the crucifix watching Christ die as represented by Michael…. I cried so many tears that I created a deep mud pit below me that I became stuck in. My ex-husband (Matt) came up to me as what I presumed to be the apostle Matthew. He was wearing a light beige robe with a burgundy trim around the edges which was also detailed with gold thread that had Aramaic symbols on it. He was trying to get me out of the mud and said, “You’ve been crying for 2,000 years Magdalene! Come with me, I have good news for you!”
I felt heavy with mud caked on me and had to force myself to walk along a dirt path in the desert. He was holding my hand and consoling me as I was trying to stop crying… I started to see a group of people ahead, but couldn’t even make them all out and my focus was on John, who was wearing a light beige robe also with deep purple trim and the same gold embellishments in Aramaic. He was very excited to see me and ran up and hugged me, kissed me on the head and told me that everything was going to be ok. He and the rest of the men disappeared and walked away. I couldn’t see their faces but I knew some of the present energies were Haig, two different Erics, Joey, and our friend Jessica (who was one of the men in the dream).
As they walked away, I saw Michael come through the trees and thank Matt for finding me. He was only wearing a light beige robe. There was no trim on it, however, I did notice blood stains and dirt that were also representing Aramaic letters. I felt in utter shock seeing him and he assured me repeatedly that he was fine and that nothing had happened. He hugged me over and over, excited to see me and told me that I would remember in just a moment. He started rubbing dirt off my face while laughing and said, “you’re so silly with all this mud on your face, geek!”
I watched Matt walk away and go sit on a rock in the position of the thinking man statue and behind him was his new partner Zoe (which means ‘Life’ or ‘Eve’ btw) who was comforting him. Michael took my hand and was singing bits of a song that he left on my voicemail in real life once and kept laughing and telling me that I didn’t need to be so afraid and dramatic about the illusions around me. He told me the crucifix was nothing different than a Criss Angel trick and as he said that we came up to a cliff that was about 40 feet high and at the bottom of it was a large mansion. He told me that it was also an illusion and if I jump with faith I wouldn’t be hurt. I felt panicked and was trying to back up when he said he could have faith in me and pushed me off the cliff. I closed my eyes and screamed in fear and then opened my eyes, realizing I wasn’t falling at all and was sitting at a table… at the last supper all over again.
Trying to gain my bearings and look around, I noticed John standing in the center while several of my soul mates sat around him and there was an entire crowd of people behind him… all the faces of everyone I’ve ever known and others I felt like I recognized, but I couldn’t tell who they were or what their names were. John had an angelic glow around him and was looking at me with tears in his eyes professing his love for me. I felt so confused and didn’t understand what was going on and then he sat down and handed me a silver cup with wine in it and asked me if I would share the cup with him. I said yes and he picked it back up, lifted it to my mouth and I drank a sip. It tasted better than any wine I had ever tasted and I started feeling freed from my feeling of fear and confusion. He took the cup and drank from it too and then everyone began sobbing with joy. John, sobbing also, said, “Do you know what you just did? You just remembered and we are all celebrating now. This is our wedding party, Helena.”
It was almost as if from out of nowhere I saw my whole family (even the ones crossed over) standing behind him alongside my children and close friends that I haven’t seen in a long time. Everyone was really excited and I wasn’t sure what I was feeling, but it was almost unidentifiable. John was suddenly standing next to me and leaned over to kiss me and I saw the Fibonacci Spiral in both of his pupils and what looked like a million stars in his irises. When he kissed me, I felt all my breath leave me and, like a dream inside of a dream, I was suddenly seeing the infinite again, with infinite versions of me across all the timelines, all the lifetimes… so many of each iteration/incarnation of me. I felt frozen for a moment just watching without feeling anything. It was almost like a blissful numbness. I felt an energy I couldn’t explain and then suddenly I was back in my body, gasping for breath as I pulled out from the kiss.
I realized I was still in the infinite nothingness but all I could see was John and his face was made up of a galaxy swirling around his brain and his eyes were mirrors and I realized that I looked just like him. I tried to go into his eyes and as soon as I did, we were in each other’s’ arms on a small green hill top surrounded by people dressed in all sorts of white outfits from ball gowns to yoga clothes, and everything was pure white. The grass seemed so green, the sky so blue, the clouds also white and it seemed that the field we were in went on forever. I could see thousands of people moving across the field all celebrating and I started seeing spirals, pi, infinity signs and Aramaic and Hebrew letters over their heads and somehow Knew what they meant: love, peace, abundance, bliss, laughter, etc. I looked down and saw that I was pregnant and John said, “It’s Sophia. She’s back.”
That’s where the dream ended. When I woke up and was thinking about it, I had a ridiculous battle in my mind that I was either someone pretty important, a total narcissist or… hey… maybe both. I haven’t looked up all the symbolism yet, however, I have a clear understanding of what it was saying plainly and how I have interpreted certain things in my experience… or perhaps it all happened.
Oh, insanity…. What do you want with me?